“Today, I must surely, absolutely go to the church a little bit earlier,pray, and prepare the field of my mind so that I may offer a precious service which the Holy Trinity will be able to attend!
“I will listen to the Word deeply by preparing the vessel of my mind properly! Lord, please open the eyes of my heart~!!”
I wake up my kids again and again when they keep laying down back in bed, and push them into the restroom, make them wash, prepare their breakfast, help them to put on their clothes and I also hurriedly dress my mind and body.
After a constant rush, we finally get out of the house and into the car… but … (sob) … it is almost service time …
Today, again, I barely make it.
That famous person - Cain, who killed his brother by beating him with a stone because of his jealousy toward him and his temper, which on one day he was unable to control - comes into me.
How come from the bottom to the top I have to do everything, while he just sits down relaxing …
How come my kids do not know my heart and just slowly get ready?
Sob sob. I cannot believe that I have to go to church with this kind of heart…’
I could have hurried a little bit more. I could have woken up a little bit earlier and prepared the field of my mind and the vessel of my mind with deep prayer, but, again, I blamed others. The bad deeply-rooted nature is rooted so deeply, it is difficult for me to get rid of it alone. Therefore, please Lord, take it out together with me.”
since I, myself, do not know well what to prepare, the Lord, who knows me so well, digs deep down into the field of the mind; takes out the root of deeply-rooted bad nature; and gently cultivates it. He prepares service together with me. Lord, you really are the best.
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- 4/17/2014
