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To My Beloved One... by 김인주

 

 

I know nothing about him.

I only heard that when he comes back he will bring me from this suffering world

to the place where he resides.  


I--who don’t know anything about him--only wait for he who said he would return after a time, times, and half a time. After hearing the words he left behind, I try to live righteously because I do not know what to prepare. I hope that he does not just come and go while I am asleep, so I wake up at dawn with the anxious shimjung (deep heart) of a bride yearning for her bridegroom.

He took a look at me.


It was a meeting fulfilled only after a long period of waiting. It truly felt like a dream.

Though I had thought he would enter with pale skin and long blond hair, he stood between rocks and trees, wearing dir- smeared clothing with a dark, suntanned face and rumpled hair.


That person, he opened his mouth.

Golden words of hope and light melted my life’s pains and griefs.

Ten hours passed, but it felt like an hour.

I think time stopped.

My spirit dances joyfully and merrily.


How could the Israelites have lived for 2000 years when they have

not met the Bridegroom?

His face, paused on the screen, is still young and simply beautiful.

Confined within the tiny space by walls, he does not stop flying high above the sky.


I am a bride who clutches onto Heaven’s ankles day after day

because I can’t simply let my feet leave the world, even though my heart is anxious

from the weight of my age as it grows more and more. It is a mournful scene.


His shimjung, bit by bit, seeps into my life as I scrape for a living trying to raise a child.

How can it be compared to a pearl that is made inside a clam?

Can one even imagine the painful ups and downs of life?

It is impossible to express his life.

I arrived at the place that he promised

stepping one by one on the Word that he received while walking upon the thorny path.


Whatever one may say, life is a flower, the flower of flowers.

When I look around with thoughts of seeing him,

how could it be,

I cannot even smell his fragrance because he has done so much.

It is a fragrance that will spread until it reaches the heavens... until eternity.


My beloved, whom I love eternally, even when I reach Heaven from this Earth, I will love you.

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3/14/2014