On a day when the wind blows gently, the tall mango tree sways in the breeze. In the small empty lot under the tree where the wind softly blows, my son is pestering me, telling me that he is going to go home by bicycle.
It seems like since the birth of his younger sister, Ju-hae, Ju-un has been having a hard time accepting the reality of having to share mom’s love with her. Hence, he often says, “I want to hit Ju-hae,” or “I want to be alone” to express his feeling.
It would be better if he could say these things as a warning before doing anything to his younger sister. My two-year-old daughter, who does not know anything, is pinched and hit by her older brother all the time, only because she touches his toy. Sigh~
I often worry about how I should manage my first born, who marks his territory thoroughly by doing this.
However, I once again approach my child with a clean and empty heart like a blank sheet of white paper.
I am just an ordinary, married Korean woman, an ordinary married woman living an ordinary life, aside from one extraordinary fact, which is that I have managed my life in the city of Cebu in the Philippines since I got married …
A mother must not be a person in debt to their kids...but my kids keep pestering and pestering again like a debt collector as if I must do everything for them without question...and then there is the role of the mother that has to provide for the needs and wants of her kids reflexively with limitless love … I realize that I also am a woman whose garment called ‘mom’ is just starting to become comfortable, like it is for all other moms.
However, I think within my husband and I, ironically, there is some kind of undefinable feeling of love and hate toward this place. It is a very interesting feeling … the deeply-rooted nature of complaining bursts out from within us whenever we come to face any aspects of this country - this unfamiliar place - that is distinctly different from Korea. Despite that, it is true that my husband, who has been working as a travel agent for ten years, and I, who have lived here for more than three years after the birth of my first child, do not dislike this life …
Written by Alice